Being an adult can be pretty overwhelming. We don’t plan for it. It just happens without us even realizing. Some people step into adulthood at various ages. Some take on adult responsibilities at 18 or younger, and for others, it may happen in their mid to late 20s. For me, it was the latter. My “real” adulthood kind of hit me at the age 25. Now don’t get me wrong, I had huge responsibilities younger than 25. I had a baby at 22, full time job, graduate school, car note, credit card bills and the list goes on. Even with all that responsibility, I still feel like 25 was when adulthood slapped me in the face. I can remember riding the train days before my 25th birthday and bursting into tears. Honestly, I don’t even know why. I also didn’t know that my life was about to change in ways that I never thought it would.
Once my 25th birthday passed, things began to change. I started to stress less, take less shit from people, and focus on me more. I lost friends and gained some but guess what? I did not care! This change was great! I felt in control of my life, and it was amazing. With this simple change, I started to learn more about myself, and it was much needed. Years later, I realize that I was just stepping into adulthood. Not just adulthood though…womanhood.
Being alone more made me realize that somewhere along the process of growth, I lost myself. Now that is the number one mistake that I’ve made to date. Never lose yourself, for anyone! My newfound journey was to learn who I was again, and create who I wanted to be. Surprisingly, this was a tough task. Being alone so much was tough. I did not know what to do with myself. I had to think hard to figure out what I used to like to do when I had more time on my hands. Then, one day it came to me. Books! I began to purchase more books and read books that were on my shelf. I binged watched shows that I enjoyed but never got to finish. I joined the gym and hired a personal trainer so that I can physically feel good about myself and get my health in check. I spoke to a therapist and started journaling again so that I can mentally feel good about myself and get my sanity in check. I hired a career specialist to help me organize my goals through resume writing and coaching. I got my finances in order by paying off debt, saving thousands, and focusing on my credit. Sis, I got my whole life!
As I reflect on my progression from 25 to now, health, career, relationships, and finance are the areas that I needed to focus on to organize my journey to adulthood.
My biggest lesson was that a huge part of stepping into adulthood was creating and maintaining meaningful relationships. But first, I had to repair the relationship with myself. Spending time alone and doing the things I loved more was a major key. Also, letting some people go. Yes! I had to fire people in my life, and I would advise you to do the same. Anyone bringing negativity to your life got to go! Trust me when I say, beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity. Remember, there will be times when you feel lonely, but this is the perfect time to continue to get to know yourself. Date yourself. Dress up and literally take yourself out. Trust me.
You may be reading this and feel like you’re not quite an adult yet. It is never too late to prepare for what’s to come. This won’t stop all of the obstacles coming your way. But, it sure will help to overcome those obstacles, navigate your journey, and swiftly step into adulthood. You will be fine, just always remember, to be the best version of you!